|CASE STUDY - Amy: Infertility
Amy came to see me because she wanted to get pregnant. She was a 42-year-old married woman who was having difficulty getting pregnant. When I first saw her I felt it would not be possible for her to get pregnant until she stopped mothering her mother. Her mother’s energy was so strongly attached to her that it was difficult to feel Amy’s individuated and autonomous energy. I felt if Amy could let go of her mother’s needs and focus on herself, the unborn soul would feel safe enough to enter. The unborn soul did not want to compete for attention with Amy’s mother and it was not going to come in until Amy separated from her mother. Energetically, Amy was already a mother and there was no room for another child to come in.
Eighteen months later she became pregnant and delivered a healthy baby who does not have to compete for mother love.
Because of their own personal wounding, certain parents cannot let go of their children even when the children have become adults. Like a closed tribal bubble, the adult child and the parent develop an enmeshed relationship where the needs and feelings of the parent or parents dominate. Freedom for the adult child is achieved when she energetically stops absorbing the fears, the longings, and the wants of the parent and begins to feel her autonomy, her individuation, her self-authority, her wants, and her own feelings. When healthy boundaries between parent and child are erected and observed, the child learns to connect to her wanting and longing without guilt, shame, or fear of parental abandonment. Emotional mothering of the mother by the child is a distorted dynamic that compromises the full growth and development of the child to fulfill her life task and personal hopes and dreams.