Kim came with her mother complaining of digestive disorders and poor sleep. For about three years Kim was having upset stomach after meals with pain and occasional vomiting. There was not a conclusive diagnosis but Kim was on a healthy and balanced diet. Kim had a thin body and appeared very shy and sensitive. She seemed much attached to her mother and allowed her mother to answer all the questions. She sat beside her mother leaning her head on her mother’s shoulder. Energetically, there seemed to be an excessive attachment between mother and daughter as their energies felt merged. It was difficult to feel Kim’s energy without feeling her mother’s. In this kind of symbiotic mother-daughter energy exchange, it would be very difficult for a child to feel her autonomy and independence and have the full capacity to feel herself. The healing was to help Kim develop her own energetic bubble so that she could feel herself, and for the mother to develop better energetic boundaries with her daughter. I felt this kind of healing would address Kim’s poor digestion and sleep.

The family history revealed that Kim’s mother was in a marriage that lacked intimacy and healthy dialogue for over four years; thus, Kim’s mother had entered a depression and was suffering in silence without the help of counseling or support. Unable to identify with her father due to his withdrawn nature, the sensitive Kim had identified with her mother’s pain and on an unconscious level was trying to “save” her mother in order to save herself from feeling alone and abandoned. Kim’s energy carried her mother’s depression, but her body was rebelling and refusing to absorb this depression; her body could no longer “stomach” and “digest” her mother’s distress. I first treated Kim’s mother by drawing back her energy from her daughter. The mother’s energy felt gluey and enveloping like slow and dense syrup. It is important to note that we as practitioners are not here to judge our patients; we all have our personal journeys that carry triumphs as well as failures and we are all doing the best we possibly can with the wisdom and support that we possess. Kim’s mom started counseling where she could vent and be comforted by an adult and Kim began to balance her time between her friends and her mother. With the additional help of some digestive enzymes and probiotics (acidophilus) recommended by her nutritionist, Kim’s digestion improved and her pains ceased.

There are times when a child’s well being depends on the well being of the parents. Children do not possess the capacity to comfort adults for long periods without identifying with and absorbing the adult pain. Children cannot be the sole nurturing source of an adult or adults without hurting themselves. They are here to be nurtured, to feel safe in their needs, and to be heard by adults. We adults are the source of their comfort and must object to their heartfelt desire to comfort us at the expense of their well being. We adults have each other for comfort and must turn to each other for our personal healing and transformation.